Author: Seaborn

  • Letter # 30–Unity (1)

    Dear Small Church Pastor,

         Unity is an elusive characteristic that we are told to strive to achieve.  We are told it is good when brothers can dwell in unity.  We should pray for unity.  We should seek it diligently.  We should encourage it.  But just how can we do this? 

         How can we develop unity within our congregation when there are personality clashes?  How do we achieve unity when the children of our leaders argue while in Children’s Church?  How do we unite if there are differences of opinion about how to move out of our four walls and into our community?

         To be honest, as far as I can determine, there are no “one size fits all” solutions to this challenge of creating unity.  There are some actions we can take, though, which will aid in the development of unity among our members.  Allow me to address one of these actions in this letter.

         A congregation that has agreed on a common goal and a plan to achieve that goal will usually develop a spirit of unity as the members do their part in working the plan.  In order to create that goal and its plan, there must be open and honest communication about the various possible goals and ways to achieve those goals.  All ideas presented must be accepted at face value and given the opportunity to be discussed and evaluated.  (Run it up the pole, brainstorm, dump the can and see what falls out, etc.)  Again, open communication and consideration is a must at this point.

         If you can get your congregation/leaders/committee to participate in that first phase of creating a common goal and a plan to achieve that goal, the hardest hurdle to unity is being overcome, and you will begin to see progress in creating the unity needed to achieve that common goal.

         But what do you do if you can’t get them to agree on a common goal and action plan?  If that’s the case, experience says you have a spiritual problem that is going to have to be faced and defeated before unity will arise in your people.  If you realize a small faction, a larger group, or even all the people are refusing to cooperate with others, there is some deception from the devil that has taken hold of minds and has convinced them they should not or cannot cooperate with each other.

         If this occurs, you will have to deal with the situation spiritually first before anything physical can be accomplished.  You will have to fast, pray, teach Biblical doctrine, counsel, encourage, face and conquer spiritual opposition, seek the Holy Spirit’s anointing and guidance and demonstrate love to your people every chance you get as you focus their attention on Jesus.  Then do that again.  And again.  And again.

         Dale Carnegie in the 20th century and Samuel Butler much earlier in the 17th century stated that a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.  In order to change a person’s opinion, the heart (the will) must change first.  If you can do your part as pastor to open truth to the people so the Holy Spirit can change hearts that are determined not to cooperate, that is all you can do.  It is the influence of the Holy Spirit spreading the love of God into hearts that can change them.  You can’t do that. 

         You can’t force the changes needed for unity to exist.  You can provide the opportunity for the changes to occur, but you cannot decide for someone else that they will change.  You face this every time you give an altar call for people to respond to the good news about Jesus.  You can tell them about Jesus and forgiveness, but you can’t make them choose to repent and seek forgiveness.  The same thing holds true for creating unity.  You can create opportunities for unity to be developed, but you cannot develop it in a heart.  God has to do that.

         If you will persist in doing your part and rely on God to do His, then you should be able to see unity begin to develop in your congregation.  When you begin to see the cooperation and mutual love that can exist in a congregation that is unified, all those prayers and seeking God will be rewarded as God’s presence envelopes all your people do together. 

         I’ve already written enough for you to pray about for now.  Remember lasting changes will occur slowly or quickly depending on the Holy Spirit’s presence and the people’s willingness to yield to that Spirit.  (I speak from experience here.)  We’ll cover more about unity in the next letter.

    Sincerely,

    A Small Church Pastor

  • Letter #29–Dare to Be Different

    Dear Small Church Pastor,

         Have you noticed that many people seem to dress alike when they go to the same places regularly?  Or when they belong to a specialized group?  Or at work?  Or if they belong to a particular clique or social circle? 

         There exists in our societies today that thing called peer pressure.  We tend to succumb to that pressure when it comes to our clothes.  But something that disturbs me when it comes to peer pressure is that we also tend to succumb to that pressure when it comes to our calling as pastors.  We subconsciously, or maybe even consciously, attempt to talk, act and even think like other pastors we know.

         We find ourselves doing what other pastors are doing.  We find ourselves preaching similar sermons and leading our congregations in similar ways.  We might even realize one day that we are guiding our people to be just like other congregations in our areas without making sure from our source that we should be leading them in that direction.  (Remember Letter #27?)

         There’s something I discovered while pastoring—every congregation is different.  They may have similar heritages in a general geographic area or ethnic background, but they will be different.  They’ll have different individual needs and those needs will require different approaches.  They’ll have special circumstances and special emergencies and special, different, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual fears, pressures, and uncertainties.

         They also have a multitude of varying dreams and goals and experiences.  They have different abilities, understanding and knowledge.  They have different spiritual gifts and varying discernment about life and its demands.

         Because your congregation will be different, you need to be different, too.  Earnestly seek guidance from God on how to lead your individual group of people.  Pray for discernment on how to address their special needs.  Seek to establish strong relationships with them and learn as much as you can about those little nuances in their voices and body language that speak volumes that the words don’t say when they talk to you. 

         They need you to be different.  They need you to lead them to their own solutions, not someone else’s.  They need you to be their pastor to their congregation, not another group down the road.

         For these reasons, I encourage you to be different.  Fast, pray, read your Word and spend time alone with your source in order to discover who you need to be for God’s glory.  Don’t try to do what other pastors do unless the Holy Spirit leads you in that direction.  Go in the direction your sheep need.

         Additionally, I challenge you to dare to be different because your own ministry is not going to be just like everyone else’s ministry.  I dare you to be different when it comes to how much you fast, pray, study and preach the messages the Holy Spirit directs you to prepare.  I dare you to not do what every other church in your area is doing.

         Dare to be different about who is called to speak at your congregation’s homecoming.  Dare to be different about the structure of your worship services.  Dare to be different when it comes to how many times a year you have a missions speaker.  Dare to be different as you plan out next year’s emphasis.  Dare to stop maintaining the status quo.

         Abram was different and left his father and family behind.  Joshua didn’t use military strategy against Jericho; he used God strategy.  David demonstrated a different kind of faith in the God of Israel in order to kill the giant.  Peter dared to speak boldly in the name of Jesus and thousands were saved.  Paul and Silas weren’t normal prisoners; they sang songs of worship in the middle of the night.  These people dared to be different and accomplished the deeds God had set before them. 

         What will God use you to do if you will dare to be different?

    Sincerely,

    A Small Church Pastor

  • Letter #28–Heritage

    Dear Small Church Pastor,

         I had occasion recently to attend a Christmas worship service in the church house where I officiated my first funeral message.  One of my uncles passed, and I was asked by the family to present his eulogy and the funeral message. 

         The building was erected in the late 1800’s.  You can see the footprints and handprints of its builders in the rough-sawn planks that cover the ceiling, walls and floor.  It was the same church house and cemetery where my maternal grandparents were laid to rest, as well as my mother and all her siblings.  Numerous cousins and extended family members either had their funerals there or had been interred in that cemetery.  You could say my family has deep roots in the place. (No pun intended.)

         Sometimes a small church pastor is sent by God to such a location as the one I just described.  As the pastor begins ministry in that congregation, the heritage of the congregation can be a blessing and a curse at the same time.  Many congregations have great histories.  Revivals of the past, record missions offerings and long-established spiritual traditions all reflect the heritages of many small congregations.  However, the memories of those past events can become a two-sided coin that impedes the progress of a congregation’s spiritual growth.  The memories can become the focus of the people, who long to see those memories come to life again.  And their focus on the past can slow their movement into the future.

         A small church pastor should tread patiently and carefully when it comes to the heritage of a congregation.  Trying to deal with any aspect of a congregation’s heritage that may be hindering their spiritual growth is tricky business that requires much prayer and discernment from God.

         The pastor should learn as much as possible about the history and traditions that exist in a congregation.  Some things will be pleasant memories that are casually discussed and some things will be so ingrained in the congregation that they are considered as absolutes to their operation and will be expected to be held in extremely high regard, almost to the point of idolatry.

          Examples: A congregation in a neighboring county accepted the use of a computer and projector for singing without much opposition because they enjoyed being able to worship without having to hold a book when they wanted to clap along with a song or raise their hands as they worshipped.   I also know of a congregation that would wait until a particular member would quietly raise a hand and start to weep before anyone else would express any reaction to an inspiring sermon.  Their comments about this included a statement that the individual knew when God’s spirit was moving and no one wanted to “get ahead of that person” during worship.

         Once the pastor has learned about the history and traditions, prayerfully consider what has been learned to determine if anything is standing in the way of the congregation getting closer to following Jesus.  If there is anything, then slowly, graciously and lovingly broach the subject after asking the leadership to help you pray about something.  Remember to bathe every decision in prayer, seeking the guidance and timing of the Holy Spirit when dealing with anything such as this.  As with any change, speak to your leadership before speaking to the general congregation.  Be sure the leaders are willing to make any adaption to a tradition.

         Keep in mind that those folks who are the backbone of the congregation have much time, money and effort in the history of the congregation.  They are the ones who probably did the cooking, painting, sweeping, repairing, singing, praying and witnessing that were integral parts of any heritage they have.  And if they were not the ones, their parents and grandparents were.  They have family ties to their past, in all likelihood.  Remember how thick blood is.

         Those parts of the heritage that are blessings and points of encouragement should be celebrated when the occasion arises.  You might remind the current members how their ancestors would pray earnestly for revival and encourage them to do the same.  You could point out how growth in numbers usually came after those prayers were coupled with community-wide evangelistic outreaches that they could do themselves.  Honestly admit to the people when the traditions are helpful and point out how they bring people closer to Jesus and encourage them in their faith.

         You might have a heritage, with its traditions, in your own family.  Remember how much that means to you.  A congregation feels the same way about its heritage and traditions.  The local congregation’s past can be a source of inspiration and encouragement for your people.  Seek God’s guidance and anointing as you approach the reality of having to patiently deal with the good side and the unfortunate side of any local heritage.  As I mentioned in Letter #27, remember your source, especially when you deal with a congregation’s heritage.

    Sincerely,

    A Small Church Pastor

  • Letter #27–Remember Your Source

    Dear Small Church Pastor,

         I need to call and check on that new couple who visited last weekend.  There’s a board meeting tonight at 7pm.  Someone from the thrift store called and wanted to know if we can do the bicycles for kids again.  The HVAC company is coming at 9:30 this morning.  Family will be visiting sometime tomorrow.  And tomorrow night is Bible Study and I haven’t finished the lesson.  The elders need guidance on making out the framework for the new by-laws.  The kids have practices every day during the school break.  Someone posted a vicious remark about our youth program last night.

         AAAHHHHGGGG!!!!!!

         Ever want to just scream about how complicated, demanding and simply exhausting life as a pastor can be?  Well, you’re in good company.  We’ve all had that over-worked, over-extended, over-scheduled, over-everything feeling.  A pastor’s life is much more than preaching, teaching and visiting the sick.  And sometimes that “much more stuff” falls right in your lap.

         What do you do when that happens?  I encourage you to remember your source. 

         Your source is not people, although God does use people to help with all the multi-tasking.  Your source is not denominational groups, although they can provide training and encouragement.  Your source is not your education, private study or your degrees hanging on the wall.

         Your source is God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.  This is your source.  This is your source for your calling and anointing.  This is your source for needed wisdom.  This is your source for inspiration.  This is your source for provision and protection and promises.  God is your source.

        Satan tries to get you to think you’re in this on your own and that you will fail. He will try to get you to think you don’t know enough or don’t have enough or can’t do enough to get your job done effectively.  And he is correct.  You don’t know enough by yourself.  You don’t have enough by yourself.  You can’t do enough by yourself. 

         But Satan does not have the last say in what your life will accomplish, nor does he have the last say in who you are.  He definitely does not have the last word in declaring who your source is.  Only God can have that last word.  And God says He is your source.

         Remember that God created you and called you and anointed you while you were still in your mother’s womb.  Remember that Jesus left the glories of heaven to come to this earth and sacrifice His life so you can be forgiven.  Remember that the Holy Spirit dwells in you and is your Comforter and Guide.  Remember that you have been empowered to spread the good news about Jesus.  Remember that Jesus has already defeated the forces of evil.  Remember that your King is coming again to receive you to Himself so that where He is, you may be also.  Remember that!

         Do you need wisdom?  Ask your source for it.  Do you need calmness in your spirit?  Ask your source for it.  Do you need help in a relationship?  Ask your source for the help.  Do you need healing in your body, mind, emotions or spirit?  Ask your source for His healing touch.  Do you need a new zeal for God?  Ask your source to renew you.

         Close your eyes, count to ten and remember your source.

         Take a deep breath and remember your source!

         REMEMBER YOUR SOURCE!  (I’m aware this is shouting, but maybe I need to shout to get your attention today.)

    Sincerely,

    A Small Church Pastor

  • Letter #26–Frustration

    Dear Small Church Pastor,

         Let’s talk about frustration for a bit.  We’ve all felt frustration.  When someone is a pastor, that feeling can appear from nowhere and last much longer than we would like to admit. 

         A carpenter can work on building a structure, and, at the end of the week, he can look on what he has accomplished because he can see visible results.  The frame is completed.  The roof is covered.  The windows are installed.  The walls are insulated.  He easily can review his progress, because the results of his labor are evident.

         Those obvious results of labor that can exist for a carpenter are not going to be so obvious for the pastor.  The pastor may teach on generosity for a month and not see an increase in giving of time, talents or treasure for six months.  The shepherd may steadily encourage his congregation to daily read their Bibles and not hear anyone mention having a regular devotion for the entire year.  The pastor may pray for someone to draw close to God’s forgiveness and not see anything happen for months, even years.

         Example: I once met a couple who started attending our worship services and discovered they were living together but not married.  I began praying that their relationship would be influenced by the Holy Spirit and that they would realize that marriage was God’s established institution and that their relationship should line up with God’s intended plan for one man and one woman.  After praying for them for over three years, they contacted me and asked me if I would lead a marriage ceremony for them.  I joyfully performed that ceremony and thanked God for that answer to prayer.  I admit that I had been frustrated that it took so long for them to ask to be married.

         The result of all that not seeing regular evidences of the ministry’s effects on the lives of the congregation can lead to frustration.  And when that frustration appears, it can have devastating effects on the pastor.  We all want to see that what we are doing is bringing positive changes into the lives of those to whom we are ministering.  But the reality is that our evidences many times do not come quickly.  In fact, we begin to wonder if they will come at all.  And we become frustrated and might begin to question our calling.

           How do we deal with frustration?  How do we battle that nagging thought that we are not accomplishing what we hope and pray about accomplishing for the cause of Christ?

         First, remember the source of the frustration.  God does not lead you into doubting His call on your life.  The Holy Spirit will not put thoughts of quitting into your head because of lack of obvious results.  Frustration does not come from the one who wants to see all come to repentance and to be forgiven.  It comes from the enemy of your calling, your very soul.  The next time you feel frustrated at what seems to be no results in what you are doing, remember that doubt, that fear, that worry does not come from good.  Frustration is from the evil one who is fighting your ministry. 

         Second, remember who made you, who called you, who empowered you and who promised you success if you will just trust in Him.  Jesus is the one who assured you that there will be a harvest if the seeds are planted.  Jesus is the one who put you where you are.  The Holy Spirit is your guide, comforter, teacher and source of energy.

         After remembering those two things and talking to yourself about what they mean to your ministry, go read Psalm 22.  Then read it again, slowly.  Can you see the frustration David experienced?  Can you sense his doubt and fear?  Now, do you see what David did in the middle of his frustration?  Do you understand how he dealt with it?

         Psalm 22 describes someone who is at a very low point.  It describes someone who is mocked, persecuted and at the mercy of enemies.  But that someone remembers what God has done in the past.  Then he prays for deliverance.  The next thing he does is state that he will proclaim God’s name to others.  He praises the Lord and declares future generations, even those not born yet, will hear about the wonders the Lord has performed.

         In the midst of his frustration, David turned to God and refocused on God’s power, protection, provision, promises and presence.  In the midst of your frustration, I encourage you to do the same. 

         Remember just how powerful God is and how the Father has placed all authority in heaven and on earth in the name of Jesus. 

         Remember every time God has protected you, not just form physical injury, but also from spiritual attack. 

         Remember every time you saw God provide for your own family and the families of those you shepherd. 

         Remember Jesus’ promises to those who place their trust in Him. 

         And remember how fulfilling, how empowering, how motivating it is to be in the Holy Spirit’s presence as you praise and worship your Lord and King.

         When you focus on all these memories, you will have found the key to dealing with and overcoming frustration that David found in Psalm 22.  Frustration may come, but you can defeat it.

    Sincerely,

    A Small Church Pastor

  • Letter #25–Generosity

    Dear Small Church Pastor,

         (This letter may strike a nerve or seem controversial, but I present it with all the grace and concern I can muster from my experiences.)

         According to a minister who was associated with it, there is a very small church located in our area that has a bank account totaling over $100,000 (That’s right–one hundred thousand dollars).  It has a small facility.  The congregation is quite small in number.  You might ask yourself how this could happen.  It may be that this happened because they did not share their financial blessings with anyone else over a very long period of time.  They merely banked them “in case we need the money.”

         The building is well-kept.  The grounds are neat.  They even have a newly designed sign out front.  But they are lacking something, and it reveals itself in the few cars and trucks parked on the grass when they meet.  They are so “thrifty” when it comes to spending money that, in the eyes of those who are familiar with their situation, they appear to lack generosity.

         The lack of generosity in financial matters has a way of spreading to every other area of a congregation.  Its insidious influence can be seen in the lack of outreach to a community.  It shows up in no new faces in the worship services for months, even years.  The lack of generosity is revealed in the percentage of income that is invested in local, regional, national and world missions annually.  It is evident in the lack of new salvations or re-commitments to God recorded during a calendar year.  It is demonstrated in the reality that few, if any, members of a congregation have ever shared their faith with anyone else.

         Generosity is a mind-set.  Generosity is a lifestyle.  Generosity is a valued characteristic of people who understand that blessings are designed to be shared, not hoarded in self-interest. 

         Generosity is the opposite of a clenched fist that desperately tries to hold onto blessings in fear of losing them.  Generosity is the open hand that freely gives because it has feely received.

         Allow me to encourage you to teach about, encourage and promote generosity in your people.  As you teach, encourage and promote, remember that generosity includes more than just money.  It also includes time and talents. 

         You might want to present a series of messages that show how time, talents and finances were generously shared in the Old and New Testaments through the free-will offerings as well as through tithes, through working together to achieve common goals and through dedicated time investments that benefitted people.  Then you might highlight examples of generosity from all three areas in your locale. 

         As you lead your people, provide opportunities for people to give their time, talents and money toward missions, community outreaches, local charities or joint work projects with other congregations.  Encourage them to be generous toward others individually as they encounter needs around them.

         Set an example of generosity in your own life.  If you are giving of your own blessings toward them and others, some of them will eventually realize you are practicing what you are preaching.  Examples are great teachers.

         One of our pastorates involved a congregation that had learned the value of generosity.  One year as I looked at what we had accomplished through outreaches into the community, I realized we had invested thirty-four percent of all our income into local, state and national missions.  I know that’s not a record, but I also am keenly aware of the limited incomes of the families in that congregation.  They gave in their own need.

         During that same year, we volunteered to provide labor to rebuild a home that was terribly deteriorated for a single lady.  The rebuild took months of weekends and vacation time to accomplish.  We also fed over 300 people each month at our missions dinners.  That congregation had invested themselves generously in the cause of the Kingdom of God by sharing the blessings God had sent to them.

         As with all aspects of ministry, developing an attitude of generosity will take some time if it does not already exist in the people.  If the attenders are already tithing, fostering generosity may be easier to accomplish.  If not, the people need to understand their responsibility to the tithe, a responsibility that reflects an understanding that God already owns all our resources and that we are simply giving back into His Kingdom work that which He can acquire in any method He chooses to use.  And tithing does involve generosity in general, in my opinion, because it involves giving from what we have into a need that should be met through the congregation.

         If you are blessed with a congregation that understands what a free-will offering of time, talents and treasure entails, you are at a definite advantage over someone who is having to start from scratch by teaching about giving in general.  Such an already generous congregation often will continue in their giving in ways that may surprise even a veteran pastor, because they are individually meeting needs that are never openly mentioned to the whole congregation.

         Example: I know of someone who often has helped older people who have trouble operating a new smart phone or a new laptop to access the internet.  (I suppose generosity can include sharing knowledge, too.)

         A final thought that may stimulate your curiosity—take a minute to search out the word “freely” in the Bible.  It can give you one starting place when it comes to promoting generosity.

    Sincerely,

    A Small Church Pastor

  • Letter #24–Changing Others–2

    Dear Small Church Pastor,

         In the previous letter, the third suggestion I made for a pastor attempting to make a change in the operation of a congregation was to be patient.  I gave the example of moving a piano one inch at a time.  Please pay attention—fast changes that occur through the authority of the pastoral position only, without including the ideas and opinions of the leadership and general congregation as a whole, usually last only as long as that individual is the pastor.  They will not necessarily become permanent, regardless of the success the changes bring into the worship of the congregation.

         Remember comfort zones and habits?  People have a tendency to revert to old habits and preferences whenever the driving force of a “new thing” is no longer present.  In order to continue to bring more successes, the change must replace the old habits and preferences, not simply delay their return.        

         For that replacement to occur, there must be a consistent repetition of the “new thing.”  The change has to be presented often with highlights on the successes that occur in order for the new habit to be established in the minds and lives of the members of the congregation.  Repetition will take time.  Replacement of old habits takes time.  Creating support for new preferences takes time.

         Example: The platform of one of our facilities was very small.  It was so small that it quickly became overcrowded when one or two new instruments and people were added to the singing portion of our worship services.  In the center of the platform stood a large podium, complete with a door and shelves.  I approached the leadership with the idea of replacing the podium with a smaller stand for a short period of time in order to see if that would help with the overcrowding on the platform.  I explained why I felt it would be helpful to the music portion of our worship service and made the suggestion to the whole congregation before I moved the podium. 

         It took a couple of months of talking to the leadership and musicians in casual conversations before I actually brought it up to the congregation.  (Suggestion #2 from Letter #23.)  The podium was replaced on a temporary basis and remains replaced to this day.  The congregation had become accustomed to seeing the uncluttered platform and had accepted the change as beneficial.

         Not every change pastors feel led to present to a congregation succeed.  One of the most significant changes that occurs in congregations is associated with the music program and the songs that are sung.  Traditional hymns are valuable to any congregation and their spiritual development.  Praise choruses are, too.  New songs with verses and choruses are, too.  Changes in music styles need to be prayerfully approached with a great deal of patience. 

         I discovered it takes time for a congregation to accept and begin using new songs on a regular basis.  Be patient when it comes to using new music in a congregation that has not had new songs introduced very much.  This is true for any group, even a congregation that is composed of young couples who have usually sung contemporary music, although I’ve noticed that young people will accept different music quicker than older folks simply because they are younger and have not been singing the same songs for forty years.

         Sidebar—If you want to introduce a new song or a new music style to an older congregation, it might help if the singer/musician is a child or grandchild of someone who has been associated with the congregation for a long time.  People can be more accepting if the new sound comes from a family member.

         I made these statements about music because I have seen instances in which a pastor introduced new songs or styles to a congregation with what appeared to be some success.  However, as soon as the pastor moved on to another location, the music reverted back to older, more familiar songs.  The song leaders were cooperating with the pastor in the new music, but they did so only because the pastor was leading in that direction.  As soon as a new pastor arrived, the old preferences for a different music style prevailed, and the new music disappeared.  Do be patient about creating an atmosphere of acceptance for new songs.  This particular change might take more time than you could ever imagine.

         It has been quoted that the city of Rome was not built in a day.  According to Discover Magazine, it took roughly 800 years from its foundation in 735 B.C. for Rome to reach its peak in its construction.  Hopefully the changes the Holy Spirit leads you to introduce will not take that much time.  But remember, replacing old habits and preferences will take time.  You’ll need to constantly remind yourself of this reality.  Be patient.

    Sincerely,

    A Small Church Pastor

  • Letter #23–Changing Others–1

    Dear Small Church Pastor,

         This letter will begin a mini-series on the topic of changing others. 

         The very first thing you need to understand is that YOU cannot change anyone.  You can lead them, advise them and make suggestions to them, but you cannot make the decisions that must be made in order for a change to occur in anyone, especially not in a whole congregation of people.  Only the Holy Spirit can bring in the changes that will help your people become more like Jesus.  Remember who is in control and who is building the church Jesus established so long ago.

         That being said–

         When it comes to changing others, after we start working on changing ourselves, there are numerous issues that must be addressed before any changes in a congregation can occur.  Do the people see a need for change?  Are they willing to make any changes?  Are they completely controlled by their routines and comfort zones?  How open-minded are they when it comes to temporary changes as opposed to permanent changes?  I could go on, but you get the idea.

         Then there are the unseen taboos that exist that are never mentioned until the pastor (that would be you) suggests a change, even if the change is for a few days.  Example: I once wanted to cover a painting, which was located on the back wall of the platform, with a large drape for a couple of weeks during a special sermon series.  When I mentioned the idea to the people, I was immediately reprimanded for wanting to cover a painting that had been donated by one of the “founding fathers” of the church.  The period of a few days was immaterial.  I wanted to cover a “sacred cow” in the minds of some of the people.  Sacred cows fall under the list of taboos.

         Back to the matter of changing others–Any time a pastor is faced with the understanding that a change needs to be made, there are some questions that need to be asked.  Is the change necessary for the spiritual development of the congregation, or is this a change motivated by the latest trends in congregational structure and operation that are being instituted in other locations?  Example: About fifteen or twenty years ago, a local pastor set up a week-long revival at his church and felt led by the Holy Spirit to invite different speakers for each night of the revival.  The revival was a glowing success.  The next pastor down the road decided to do the same and held a revival with different speakers.  The next pastor farther down the road did just like the others were doing and had several speakers at his annual revival.

         As I watched what was happening, I realized the first pastor had followed the direction of the Holy Spirit and had been rewarded with a great outreach to his community.  It appeared to me that the others had looked at what he had done and decided that God was now moving by having revivals with several speakers.  I’m not judging the others for their decisions.  I am merely stating a pattern that I saw developing during each repetition of the original revival.  Many churches still follow that pattern in our area years later.

         Getting back to the question, again—do you feel that the change will help your congregation grow spiritually?  If the answer is “no,” then ask yourself why you want to make the change.  Remember, your motivations will have a definite impact on your congregation and its future.  If the answer is “yes,” ask yourself what would be the best way to make the change.  Remember, as their pastor, you should always seek what is best for the congregation as the Holy Spirit directs your steps.

         Here are some suggestions when you believe a change will help your congregation grow in their relationships with Jesus:

         Pray, pray and then pray some more before introducing the idea of any change to the structure or operation of the church.  Then ask the congregation to pray with you as you seek the Lord’s guidance about the future.

         Informally bring up the change in conversations with various members of the congregation beginning with your leaders.  Ask them “How do you feel about….” types of questions and really listen to their answers.

         Be patient.  If you’re going to move the piano, do it one inch at a time.  Changes that are lasting should occur in small increments whenever possible.  People need time to adjust themselves to new things, no matter how small the changes are.

         Never make a change for the sake of change.  Always have a definite goal in mind, and be sure the goal will benefit your people in the long run.

         As led by the Holy Spirit, minister to your people about the control routines and comfort zones have over everyone’s lives and how to overcome that control through God’s help and direction.  Remember to use examples from your own life and from scripture when you do this.  Don’t try to point out their routines and comfort zones to them.  Rely on the Holy Spirit to do that.

         There is much more to discuss on this topic of changing others through God’s guidance.  We’ll address other things in the next letter.  You already have enough in this one to ponder and pray about as you lead your people into necessary changes.

    Sincerely,

    A Small Church Pastor

  • Letter #22–Changing Yourself

    Dear Small Church Pastor,

         The only constant in this universe is God.  Everything else changes.  That includes you, your congregation and everything you do.  Everything that is alive and growing changes.  When it stops changing, it begins to die.  Eventually it will begin to decay and, finally, disappear completely.

         You, your congregation and all things in your ministry are no different.  Allow me to remind you of something you already know.  When you stop changing and becoming more like Jesus, you begin to stagnate.  The same holds true for your congregation.  When your ministry stops taking on more and more of the qualities that existed in Jesus’ ministry, that will stagnate, too.

         Let’s address how you can ensure that you do not stop growing to maturity by changing yourself.  This letter addresses two aspects of our lives that might hinder our ability to change so we can be more like Jesus.  They are routines (habits) and comfort zones (personal preferences).

         We all have routines and comfort zones.  We all enjoy regularity because it helps to create stability in our lives.  We all have areas of life that make us feel secure and not vulnerable.  But are our routines and comfort zones controlling how close we are to accomplishing God’s will for our ministries?  Are they keeping us from changing into a more mature and useful member of the body of Christ?

         Routines and comfort zones include all those thoughts and activities that occupy our lives every day and that occur repeatedly, so much so that we don’t even think about the reality that they affect our lives every single day.  What you did the first fifteen minutes today is probably what you do the first fifteen minutes of every day.  The activities you feel capable of performing are the ones you perform every day.  The people with whom you associate this week are very likely many of the same people you encounter every week.

         There is nothing wrong with having routines and comfort zones.  But are we allowing these to control our thoughts, words and actions because we simply feel too comfortable in them to be willing to change anything about them?  In other words, are we remaining tied to our routines and comfort zones for the sake of convenience and personal preferences?  Do they have such a hold on our thoughts, words or behaviors that we do not want to, refuse to, staunchly oppose any effort to change from what we have always thought, said or done?

         Remember, living organisms that stop changing begin to die.  You are a living organism.  If you have stopped changing because of routines and comfort zones, there is a conclusion to what is happening to you.  You have begun the process of dying.  And death does not occur just in the physical realm.  It can also occur mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  The first three are bad enough.  That last one has eternal consequences for yourself and for the people you lead.

         We all must ask ourselves if our routines and comfort zones are keeping us from growing, maturing, getting closer to the image of Christ.  If there is any indication they are, then we have a choice to make.  We can choose to stay in them and accept their control and their consequences, or we can choose to change them and seek new growth, more maturity, being drawn closer to the image of Christ. 

         If we decide to change so we can grow, how do we do that?  It has been said that recognizing a problem is ninety percent of solving the problem.  Pray that the Holy Spirit will help you identify any area of your life that is being controlled by routines (habits) or your comfort zones (personal preferences).  Then, with guidance from prayer, scripture and sound Christian counsel, decide what you can do to change.  Create a plan for making the changes you feel are necessary for your own personal growth.  Then consistently start working the plan.  Stick with your plan, regardless of the temptation to fall back into your old ways of living.  You’ll begin to see progress toward growth as you change.

         Do you want to grow in Christ and see your congregation do the same?  Start with changing yourself first.

    Sincerely,

    A Small Church Pastor   

  • Letter #21–Rest

    Dear Small Church Pastor,

         Rest, ah, rest.  What an elusive term for the small church pastor.  As the one person who is tasked with making sure the congregation moves forward, you are often placed in the position of never getting any rest.  Or at least that seems to be the case.  However, I assure you that rest is possible, and I also assure you that it is necessary if you want to maintain your health—physically, mentally, emotionally and especially, spiritually.

         I know the temptation to not stop.  I completely understand the pressures that come from all sides.  I have already been down that street and have long ago used that t-shirt for a grease rag.

         Your personal rest is probably more important to the health of your congregation than you realize.  If the shepherd is exhausted, the sheep will not be cared for as much as they should be.  The best pasture or safest watering hole may be overlooked.  The wolves might even begin to draw near to the sheepfold because the shepherd is not as alert as possible and may not be completely aware of what’s happening in the surroundings of the flock.

         You know about and have probably taught your people the need for the Sabbath’s rest in their lives.  I admonish you to walk your own talk in this matter.  You must—YOU MUST—get regular rest.  You need it just as much as they do.  Just like your congregants, if you are tired all the time, you will not be at the top of your game as their pastor.  Again–You must get regular rest.

         Now, how can you accomplish that?  First, go back and re-read Letter #1.  Next, make up your mind that you are going to get some regular rest.  (You won’t take action unless you decide to take action.)  Then, with all the love and grace you can muster, tell your congregation which day of the week you have chosen for your day of rest.  Finally, take it!

         Arrange for one or two of your leaders to handle necessary items on your day of rest.  Let the people know who they should call on your day of rest, and place your trust in them to be leaders that day.  I promise you, the church will not disintegrate if you take a day off.  If an emergency arises, deal with it if you absolutely have to, and then go back to your rest.  (Even an ox that had fallen into a ditch was rescued on the Sabbath.) 

         Let your day of rest be a special day when you relax, refresh your own relationship with God and enjoy the simple pleasures of family and friends.  Take a nap or two.  Turn off the screens—all of them—and sit in the yard or on your porch with a glass of tea or a cup of coffee and let the ice melt and the cup get cold as you take in all the majesty of the world God has created. 

         Open your mind to listen to the Holy Spirit as He speaks to you in the silence.  Pick up that book you’ve been meaning to start and start it.  If you’re a fast reader, you might even finish it in one day.  Listen to some good music without answering the phone.  Make some homemade ice cream and gather your family to enjoy your creation. 

         As you enjoy this day of rest, focus on doing things you know will calm your mental, emotional and spiritual self.  Avoid things that make you feel more physically tired at the end of the day than they are worth.  Remember, this is a day to rejuvenate yourself in every area of your life.

         You may be saying to yourself that you don’t see how it is possible you could take a Sabbath’s rest during the week.  You’re wrong in that thought.  My friend, you are not the one who is in ultimate control of this universe.  If your church falls apart because you are not present for one day a week, then the place you call “church” is not being built by Jesus.  I don’t mean to sound hard here, but no one person is completely indispensable to a congregation every day of the week. 

         You can set aside a day, and you need to do so, because you won’t last in ministry if you don’t get the rest you need.  You’ll burn out.  You’ll be consumed by the responsibilities and pressures.  You’ll find yourself resenting the phone calls and texts.  You’ll begin to wonder if you really were called into ministry as you become more and more exhausted from all the activities and questions and crises and problems and meetings—all that everything stuff.

         This letter is a little longer than most, but you need to understand just how important getting a day of rest is to your ministry.  Your enthusiasm will be re-energized.  Your clarity in thought will become focused again.  Your commitment to God’s work will be renewed.  Your emotions will come under control.  Your spirit will be built up by God’s spirit.  Your body will not feel as worn out.  Your whole self will be a better person for the people who follow your guidance as their shepherd.

         “Remember the Sabbath day.”  Rest.

    Sincerely,

    A Small Church Pastor