Tag: frustration

  • Letter #45 (Frustration)

    Dear Small Church Pastor,

         Everyone, including small church pastors, experiences frustration from time to time.  That nagging question of why isn’t anything noticeable happening yet?  The feeling that prayers are bouncing off the ceiling and back to the floor.  Constantly worrying if the right choices have been made about volunteers, outreach efforts and even sermon preparation. 

         Frustration often enters the picture when there are no new specific goals set and plans formed after achieving original goals.  It can appear when a congregation, or the pastor, becomes complacent toward commitment because of familiarity with systems, programs and people.  Frustration also takes hold when routines and traditions become so engrained that doing something new is automatically rejected as “too different,” and those seeking change begin to feel unnoticed or dismissed.

         Sometimes the frustration is so great a person wants to scream.  But you know that won’t change things.  (It might temporarily relieve some tension, but you know it’s not lasting.)

         So, what can you do when the frustration mounts?  Well, for starters, after you pray and honestly talk to God about how the frustration is making you feel, you can ask yourself some questions that might help you focus on the cause of the frustration.  That effort could lead to a path for handling it.

         For example:  What is your vision for your congregation?  Are you working toward that vision as a team, or is this a “one-man-show” effort?  Does your leadership team have specific goals and plans of action for achieving those goals?  Are you expecting the miracles you are praying for, or are you just going through the motions of asking without committing to seeing the miracles become reality through God’s power as you do what the Holy Spirit leads you to do?  Are you keeping track of and celebrating the small gains as you pray for physical and spiritual growth?

         After you ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly to yourself, share the questions with your congregation’s leaders.  Get their answers.  Compare them to your own.  Then discuss how everyone working together can overcome the feeling of frustration you have. 

         I believe you’ll discover they have their own frustrations, too.  Honestly and openly talk to each other about what can be done in order to overcome what they feel could be holding back the spiritual and physical growth you all seek and deeply desire for your congregation.  Remember that communication and the development of trusting relationships is vital to the success of any group, but this is especially true for congregations that are experiencing frustration, either in the pulpit or the pew.

         Frustration can be overcome through prayer, thoughtful introspection and open discussions with everyone affected by the frustration.  Failure to approach frustration as a problem the Holy Spirit can help you solve will only lead to more debilitating frustration.  So, stop being frustrated and take action.

    Sincerely,

    A Small Church Pastor

  • Letter #26–Frustration

    Dear Small Church Pastor,

         Let’s talk about frustration for a bit.  We’ve all felt frustration.  When someone is a pastor, that feeling can appear from nowhere and last much longer than we would like to admit. 

         A carpenter can work on building a structure, and, at the end of the week, he can look on what he has accomplished because he can see visible results.  The frame is completed.  The roof is covered.  The windows are installed.  The walls are insulated.  He easily can review his progress, because the results of his labor are evident.

         Those obvious results of labor that can exist for a carpenter are not going to be so obvious for the pastor.  The pastor may teach on generosity for a month and not see an increase in giving of time, talents or treasure for six months.  The shepherd may steadily encourage his congregation to daily read their Bibles and not hear anyone mention having a regular devotion for the entire year.  The pastor may pray for someone to draw close to God’s forgiveness and not see anything happen for months, even years.

         Example: I once met a couple who started attending our worship services and discovered they were living together but not married.  I began praying that their relationship would be influenced by the Holy Spirit and that they would realize that marriage was God’s established institution and that their relationship should line up with God’s intended plan for one man and one woman.  After praying for them for over three years, they contacted me and asked me if I would lead a marriage ceremony for them.  I joyfully performed that ceremony and thanked God for that answer to prayer.  I admit that I had been frustrated that it took so long for them to ask to be married.

         The result of all that not seeing regular evidences of the ministry’s effects on the lives of the congregation can lead to frustration.  And when that frustration appears, it can have devastating effects on the pastor.  We all want to see that what we are doing is bringing positive changes into the lives of those to whom we are ministering.  But the reality is that our evidences many times do not come quickly.  In fact, we begin to wonder if they will come at all.  And we become frustrated and might begin to question our calling.

           How do we deal with frustration?  How do we battle that nagging thought that we are not accomplishing what we hope and pray about accomplishing for the cause of Christ?

         First, remember the source of the frustration.  God does not lead you into doubting His call on your life.  The Holy Spirit will not put thoughts of quitting into your head because of lack of obvious results.  Frustration does not come from the one who wants to see all come to repentance and to be forgiven.  It comes from the enemy of your calling, your very soul.  The next time you feel frustrated at what seems to be no results in what you are doing, remember that doubt, that fear, that worry does not come from good.  Frustration is from the evil one who is fighting your ministry. 

         Second, remember who made you, who called you, who empowered you and who promised you success if you will just trust in Him.  Jesus is the one who assured you that there will be a harvest if the seeds are planted.  Jesus is the one who put you where you are.  The Holy Spirit is your guide, comforter, teacher and source of energy.

         After remembering those two things and talking to yourself about what they mean to your ministry, go read Psalm 22.  Then read it again, slowly.  Can you see the frustration David experienced?  Can you sense his doubt and fear?  Now, do you see what David did in the middle of his frustration?  Do you understand how he dealt with it?

         Psalm 22 describes someone who is at a very low point.  It describes someone who is mocked, persecuted and at the mercy of enemies.  But that someone remembers what God has done in the past.  Then he prays for deliverance.  The next thing he does is state that he will proclaim God’s name to others.  He praises the Lord and declares future generations, even those not born yet, will hear about the wonders the Lord has performed.

         In the midst of his frustration, David turned to God and refocused on God’s power, protection, provision, promises and presence.  In the midst of your frustration, I encourage you to do the same. 

         Remember just how powerful God is and how the Father has placed all authority in heaven and on earth in the name of Jesus. 

         Remember every time God has protected you, not just form physical injury, but also from spiritual attack. 

         Remember every time you saw God provide for your own family and the families of those you shepherd. 

         Remember Jesus’ promises to those who place their trust in Him. 

         And remember how fulfilling, how empowering, how motivating it is to be in the Holy Spirit’s presence as you praise and worship your Lord and King.

         When you focus on all these memories, you will have found the key to dealing with and overcoming frustration that David found in Psalm 22.  Frustration may come, but you can defeat it.

    Sincerely,

    A Small Church Pastor