Dear Small Church Pastor,
Let’s take a look at one of the great blessings found in a small congregation. They usually all know each other and may even be related through family ties. I’ve discovered this “family feeling” is quite common in a small church setting. Although it sometimes proves to have its downfalls, having a close relationship with each other can be utilized by a pastor to strengthen a congregation’s commitment to the Lord and to each other.
It will take some time for a congregation to trust a new pastor, but when the pastor demonstrates a willingness to accept everyone and their families, that trust can be achieved, and it will enable the pastor to become more than a weekend evangelist who visits them in the hospital when they’re sick.
Remember to forego comparing anyone in the congregation to people in another location. They want to talk about people they know. Talk with the people who attend, ask questions about their families and friends and listen attentively to what they say. Take an interest in all their relationships, even the ones they don’t talk about much.
When the opportunity avails itself, work on projects with the people in your congregation. Set work days at your facility and enlist as many people as possible to join in. If they talk about working on some project at home, volunteer to help them. Bring your spouse and children, if you have any still at home, and involve them in what’s going on at the church house and the members’ houses. Go to their family reunions if invited. Invite them to yours. Attend their children’s ballgames or birthday parties when you are available. Demonstrate to the people that you are willing to become part of their lives.
People who work together, eat together and experience life together grow together. They learn from each other as they learn about each other. Those times of informally gaining personal information about each other will bring people to the point of being able to trust each other. (Remember Letter #5 on Relationships) Allow me to give an example about learning and trusting from my own ministry.
One of my former congregants was a cattle farmer. He mentioned one day that he was going to run some new fencing to separate a field for grazing. I volunteered to come help him install the fence. As we met early the next day, I asked how he usually laid out the fence line, how he spaced his fence posts and how many runs of barbed wire he was going to put up. He responded with the information needed to do the job, and we began.
As we were attaching the wire strands to the posts, he commented that I was the first pastor he had met who knew anything about manual labor, especially farm fencing. I related how I had grown up on a small farm that had livestock and understood the concept of needing good fences. He learned I had much in common with him and his way of life. He had also learned that if I said I was going to do something, I did it. I learned to trust him, and he learned to trust me. Every time I see him now, he gives me a firm handshake and a brotherly hug.
Remember to keep your word when you tell someone you will do something. If you have to, write down your promises or put them on your calendar so you can remember what you promised.
Speaking of calendars, put birthdays and anniversaries on your own calendar, as well as on the church calendar. If there is not already a church calendar, create one with the help of someone in the congregation who is interested in this type of activity. (This is a good way to involve others in producing something useful for the entire congregation.)
After acquiring their permission, include the attenders in groups in your social media accounts. Do everything you can to communicate about daily life with as many people as possible in as many ways as possible. Let the congregation know you consider all of them as integral parts of your own life.
You are their shepherd, their pastor. You are part of their spiritual family and the diverse physical family that makes up the congregation. Build up the physical family ties, and you will discover that you will be able to better build up the spiritual family under your care. That “family feeling” is one of the best blessings your small church will possess.
Sincerely,
A Small Church Pastor